How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
