In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
