Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
