omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
