You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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