Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
