My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
