god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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