i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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