Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
