Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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