No stitches, just platelets and will power
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
