I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
