the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
