Me too!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
