There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
