You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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