the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
