but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
