don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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