if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
