I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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