I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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