I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
