The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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