you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
