Pappa wants mamma naked
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
