Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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