the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
