I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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