I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
