is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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