Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
