wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
