just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
