god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
