question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
