U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
