i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
