Me too!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
