I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
