just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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