Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
