may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
