dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
