When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
