i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
