I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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