no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
