i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
